Explode!!!!

Focus...

2011-06-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

My dad a long time ago told me when I was young, that I can't seem to focus.
It actually is not that I don't focus/stone/blur, but it was that I don't seem to focus on the things that are important. In other words, the way I prioritize stuff is terrible.

Last minute, procrastination, things come when it comes, not expecting anything, purposely doing what's not necessary and pushing the needed things out of the way.

Anyway, it's because of mediocrity and staleness in my life that makes me push/get up and seek Him. Or else its the same old, same old thing which just kills life from the inside.

Since I tend to take things quite steadily, I wonder how it would be to live a life on the run, where there's so much to do and so little time....

Let's see how to go on without the stress but with faith and perseverance.

Some reflection,,,,

2011-06-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

Maybe if I just typed it out, it may help a bit....

Anyway, I feel sad some. Somehow, even though I know in my head I am trying to help others, but when it turns to hurt, whether intentionally or not, it has such an effect on me. You wanna apologize / make it up to them but you don't know how to. Sometimes, you feel an insecure feeling that no matter how hard you try fix / make better the situation, it doesn't seem to calm my heart.

Even when the person can apologize for getting mad or owning up to their mistakes, I still feel sad that I made the person angry/sad/disappointed in the first place. It's like I can't seem to forgive myself for making the mistake in the first place. I wonder now if I actually made some inner vows that hardened my heart to actually feeling right.

Most probably wanting everything to be perfect isn't going to happen and bound for great disappointment. Melissa is so right when she mentions that we shouldn't beat ourselves up so much. Learn from our mistakes but don't drag yourself into mud and kill yourself internally till you can't bring yourself up again to run the race or press on.

So, dear Lord. I do pray that you mold my heart. Show me my inner hurts that prevent me from knowing You more. No one likes guilt, pain or suffering but Lord, from my hurts that I go through, please show me the way to You that others may also see You through the testimony of my life. Thanks for everything. Amen.

Crying...

2010-12-16T03:48:00.000+08:00

How does one actually cry?
Must it only be only when something sad happens?
Or must it be only when a breakdown happens?
Or must it be when you are happy for someone else?

I never liked crying though I learned a long time ago that its good to let out but dang, being emo has its uses.
You don't wanna see anyone.
You don't wanna talk to anyone.

What's the point in the things we do?
What's the point of letting out?
Just to feel better only?
Or is there really something that happens within our hearts and soul when we do?

Is being emotional a good thing?
Or should we be emotionless?
Anyway, crying just for the sake of feeling better is not enough anymore.
There better be a better reason for what I do and go through or else I rather not do what I do.

No one likes to influence people to the wrong decision.
No one likes to hurt others.
No one likes to make mistakes.
No one likes to take the blame.
No one likes to learn the hard way.
No one likes to tear when a sad situation happens.
No one likes to feel unhappy.
No one likes to be angry.
No one likes to be stressed.
No one likes to be depressed.
No one likes to swear left right up down.

All of life's things we go through, all we can do is at the very least, is let it out.
Let's hope it doesn't lead to something drastic which hurts more rather than helps.

Dear Lord, You're all I have left. Even having best friends on earth sometimes just don't cut it.
Where can I lean on? Who can I cry out to? How can I overcome?
Where are the answers? Why can't I go on?
This next few days will definitely be a litmus test for me.
Let's see how it goes......

Look who's on Youtube!!!

2010-09-06T14:26:00.000+08:00

Nothing embarrassing anyway.
The poor grainy picture makes it like some technology that's blocking out the faces on purpose but we know who's right in the middle....

It was posted around 2 years ago and 4000+ hits only?
Let's see if we can "purposely" up that number.....

Terrified...

2010-08-17T11:52:00.001+08:00

Here's a video while I'm trying to figure out how to link videos from Youtube:

A few of us will be singing this at a charity dinner at Bangsar this coming Sunday evening.
It's nice to help out and just enjoy music and hopefully have some good food....

It's so fluffy I'm gonna die.....

2010-08-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

Just testing out on how to post pictures on blogger.

Karina sent me an email with these pictures around 3 years ago.
Do enjoy what you see:

Awwwwwwww.....

I believe that too much cuteness can kill a person.

Right?

Gone and Alone...

2010-08-04T17:09:00.005+08:00

Most of you people know at home, I have two dogs. My dad found them in SS2 near our church while they were puppies like 8-10 years ago. My father lured the black female into the car, called the brown male into the car, closed the door and drove off....
The way my dad described it, it sounded like he kidnapped them.
He named them after the happy ending love story found in the bible, Ruth and Boaz.

Anyway, fast-forward to last week, Ruth fell sick and couldn't eat. The veterinarian couldn't figure out why or what she was sick off. Eventually on sometime last Friday, she passed away.

She's now buried in my garden. I promise you me and my mum make terrible grave diggers... We couldn't dig properly nor bury her properly. It's sure a skill to bury the dead....

Anyway, I'm not all that sad about her passing. What disturbs me more is about Boaz. He's all alone now. Being a scaredy-cat-dog, he always waited till Ruth commits the action/offense (e.g. run out of the house, bark at passersby, chase after rats, sniffs around, bite the security ronda guy etc etc.), then he will follow what she does. Kind of cute when you think of it...

Now, his sister is gone. I'm quite sure he realized that she isn't around anymore. He stared at us while we buried her. I've yet to hear him bark even since she was gone.

This is what makes me sad. It kind of tells me, why should I bother to have friends for? Why would I want to go through the ups and downs of being/trusting in people for? Wouldn't it be better to live a secluded life? Why go through the suffering of disappointment, hurt, pain, frustration, sadness with people? Why should I share my life with others? Is the joy and happiness and fun worth the offset of unhappiness, sadness and mundane? Why not stay emotionless?

Looking up some bible stuffs, if we just concentrate on the word happy or joy, both the old testament (Eccl. 2:24; 3:12-13,22; 5:18-19; 9:9) and new testament have given indications that God loves us to be happy/joyful whether it be through obedience, love one another, through serving etc. Joy is even one of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5), which means joy can be developed.

Wonderful. Isn't it weird that we have to learn to be happy? It's like learning to relax. Even some people don't know how to relax.....

Anyway, the Lord put my dad in a position to "kidnap" our two dogs and raise them up. Because of them, no thieves have broken into our house for the years they have been around. With all the house break-ins, people going for closed/guarded security communities and stuff, God watch over our house by placing those two dogs where I lived.

Not bad eh?

Boaz still wants to be "sayang-ed" (or spoiled, whichever way you wanna look at) still anyway....

Speaking & Silence...

2010-07-21T18:03:00.002+08:00

I just realized something lately.

I can't seem to carry out conversations on going for days. Its just not possible.

Say on the first day, we may have lots of stuff to talk about.
On the second day, I will have less.
The 3rd, I start running out of stuff to even talk about.
4th, I wouldn't know what to say other than hie and bye.

It has to be really a gift for people to talk continuously / non-stop. Since speaking non-stop isn't something I often do, so in the end its just me and my thoughts.

I can't imagine if I had to spend days with the same people over and over again. What in the world am I gonna say?

Most probably, this is a prelude/pre-education to incoming events that I most probably won't expect either...

The state of the mind...

2010-05-27T22:41:00.007+08:00

I wonder how it really feels to scream your head off.
To smash a table on the ground.
To swing a bat to break a windscreen.
To throw a vase on a wall.
To swear in all the languages and dialects in the world.

The furious-ness can't seem to go.
The frustration-ness don't seem to erode.
The heat builds up even in an air-cond room.

Why?

Anger, when left unchecked or resolved, will translate into actions eventually.
Things like abuse, whether on self or others, will eventually happen regardless what our "rational" minds tells us otherwise.

What I'm saying is, eventually, I feel like letting out what I feel through actions. Which eventually leads to hurting others physically, and leads to me being hurt physically and emotionally.

But my mind doesn't let me so. Cause its not good yada yada yada.
Why do I bother sometimes? Why do I do what I do?

From what I can deduce, it's me.
It's always been me.
When things don't turn out right or well, it's me.
When I'm right, I'm still wrong.
When I care, it's wrong.
When I don't care, it's wrong.
When I'm on the fence, it's wrong.
When a person challenges me, I'm wrong.
When someone laughs at me, I'm wrong.
When someone makes fun of me, I'm wrong.
When I do it right, it's wrong.
When I don't do anything, it's also wrong.

What's the point of living?
Why bother to try?
Even when I try, why can't I try my hardest and best?
Why does it still turn out bad after you try?

What's happening to me?
What have I done to go through this?
What haven't I done to get out of this?

I don't want to eat. It's like a waste of effort but the body needs it.
I don't want to move but I don't want stay still either.
I want to cry, yet I don't want to either.

I want to decide, yet I can't make a decision.
I want to breakthrough yet I can't break myself and instead crumble.
I wanna be more in tune with Him yet I can't make the effort.
I wanna be more than I want to be for Him yet I don't want to change.

So what do you want?
Something? Nope.
Nothing? Not that either.
What then?

A few years ago, Melissa with Pastor Reynold asked me if I needed help. I didn't know what to even ask for and worse is, I still don't know.

Maybe the smallest request is, ironically the biggest one too, is just get me out of how I'm feeling permanently.

A full time job, corporate or church, is not going to help.
Going to church or serving isn't working.
Cell group isn't helping.
Worship is being affected.
Service to the youth is being affected.
My conversations to people is affected.
My joy of driving is being affected.
My passion for basketball and volleyball is drained.
Playing computer games takes away hours but doesn't solve anything.
My reading takes away more hours but my heart shows no change.
Watching movies is starting to get pointless.
And worse of all, doing nothing drives me meaningless.

"So what now?" I ask myself...
What a waste of time thinking about it too.
How am I suppose to get out of this rut?
Get on my knees? Cry? Worship? Pray?
Most probably that is the best thing to do.
To lay it all at His feet.

Will I get my answer?
Dang I better get it the sooner the better...

Dang...

2010-04-13T17:17:00.003+08:00

I would have to admit, I wouldn't call my life exciting but at least it's progressing in some status quo type.

I hate it.

I don't like staying the same.
I prefer a good/positive type of progress/growth but when it gets stagnant, it sucks.

Interesting when you encourage others, you also learn some but there's this unquenchable desire to want to know Him more, to feel Him more, to experience Him more, to hug Him more, to love Him more.

Yet, it feels like I still fall short of a breakthrough and things stay the same. Interesting when someone tells you to break out of a circle when you already am trying to yet struggle to. Maybe there needs to be a drastic change? Then again, can I take such a change?

Dear Lord, just use me for who I am. Whether I'm imperfect or not, just use me as I am. Show me what I need to do for a breakthrough. Yeah I know the struggles will come but if it gets me to a better place and reason of your whole grand purpose, so be it. In Your name I pray, Amen.

Living a Working Life...

2009-09-14T18:44:00.003+08:00

Just to babble a bit...

Work isn't all that cool or enjoyable lately. When you try to do your best for Him in your workplace, the people around you just seem to infect you with their character, ideas, positions, morals....

Some are good but as a whole, it mostly negative and I have to admit, I am influenced some. It's so easy to give up then struggle.

Where does our strength come from? Definitely not from our own only. We definitely need more than just forcing yourself to get up, do the daily chores, get to work, do what you need to do (if you get to do that in the first place), hear our colleagues talk about others (both negatively and positive stuff), go home, mentally tired, read, pray, go to sleep.

I never really wanted to prioritize my life around work (it should be around Him) but over the years, it ended up as work eating away life.

Dear Lord, the things I have gone through, please show me Your reasons why I have to go through these times. A lot of mistakes, scolding, polictics and pressure has been around but I do know You're still just and true. Your will be done though I sometimes do things my way.
You deserve the highest praise.
That I believe, know and continue to say regardless how I feel.
Thanks Lord.

Amen.

Manglish and Singlish are the bomb....

2009-06-22T17:47:00.003+08:00

This was passed to me through email. I love Manglish so much....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is funny!! Hope it'll put a smile on your face (",).

You might like it. This is hilarious... ..even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.

Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.....

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amazing what we can do with our words....

Long live the lame....

Work...

2009-06-19T18:20:00.005+08:00

The live of a working person:

7.30am: Wake up thanks to the alarm. If still tired, keep snoozing the alarm until half an hour is up.

8.00am: Finally get out of bed. If you didn't snooze, then you should be out of bed already. Now go and brush your teeth and gargle mouth with "yucks" (as Sarah Ooi would say) tasting Listerine (its suppose to be good for teeth and gums but dreadful aftertaste in the mouth).

8.30am: You should be already dressed smartly with the corporate collared t-shirt with corporate pants with the corporate tie and corporate socks and corporate shoes and corporate laptop bag with corporate money and corporate..... You get the point.
So we leave in the corporate car and start heading to office.....

9.00am: The 1-Utama car park. After many moons of exploring, here's my take on their car park. At the right hand side of basement 2 carpark is the most strategic place to park. Indoors, lighted up nicely, and right in the middle of the old and new wing (taking the lift takes you to Secret Recipe on Lower Ground floor).
You eventually notice that no one seems to follow the arrows on the walls/floor most of the time. No entry yet cars still go through. Right means left, left means up, down means turn off car....
The other thing is once there's a ton of people in 1U, city people get creative on how to park their cars. Squeeze in here, tucked in there, slot in like you just don't care...

9.15am: Yup. It takes around 15 minute walk to get to the KPMG tower..... Why so? Because of the lifts. The way it was designed makes it too slow to get everyone into their respective floors since we already have 5 out of 11 floors and 900+ staff and we share with the lifts with other staff/floors. So we usually go down, then up.

My personal record getting to my department on the 9th floor journey was like this:

Ground Floor (G, my starting point) > Concourse (C, where visitor and the main entrance of KPMG tower is) > Basement 1 (B1) > Basement 2 (B2) > Basement 3 (B3 and the lowest floor, we're finally able to go up now!!!) > B2 > B1 > C > G > 1 > 2 > 3 > 5 (where's floor #4? Ask the chinese why. I actually missed a floor called 2A which was between 2 and 3) > 6 > 7 >8 >9.... Ding ding ding ding ding!!!! I have finally reached my department floor.
All that needed was to stop a total of 16 times/floors. Thank You Lord for teaching me patience a long long time ago. Some people would rather jump out the window by then.

9.30am: Settled down and finally able to get my laptop running, a cup of hot green-honey-tea and looking at word documents.

11.30am: Get up from my desk and ask my colleague, "Where you wanna eat-ah?". As usual, we city people can never see too far ahead. My typical answers would be, "Don't know", "Anything", "What do you want to eat?", "Going out to eat?" and so on so forth.

12.00pm: Get up and say, "Let's go eat". My typical responses would be "Don't know", "Anything", "What do you want to eat?", "Going out to eat?" and so on so forth.

12.30pm: Wondering why everyone is still sitting down and not budging. "Let's go people!" and the reponses are "Don't know", "Anything", "What do you want to eat?", "Going out to eat?" and so on so forth.....

We can never decide where to go eat ahead of time. It's just not in our blood/genes. Eventually, we just wait on each other and decide eventually when the girls complain that their stomachs hurt and want to eat.

1.30pm: Done talking/chatting/eating. Time to settle back in from of my ever rectangular-ish looking laptop and look at word documents.

3.30pm: If a heavy lunch was eaten, this is time where you start to fall asleep. As you know, staring at something over hours after eating makes your eyes feel wanting to flip up and down repeatedly. This is where we learn to LLB (look like busy). All you have to do is sit up straight leaning on your chair, let your head nod downwards, and sleep!
So simple! You'll LLB but actually you're taking a nap. Better KO 10 minutes rather than fighting off sleep for an hour...

5.00pm: Some of us are already gathering and talking nonsense/girls/life. Our school mentality is still the same. When 1.10pm school is suppose to end, 12.30pm already we can't concentrate on studying anymore no matter how hard we try. Same goes with work.

5.30pm: The secretaries leave work on the dot. Never a moment later. They are also the most punctual people in the whole company. However, what about us? What time do we leave?

6.00pm: We are still in office. How come?

6.30pm: More than half of the company should be gone by now but there are still life and activity around.

7.00pm: Majority may have left but there's always someone around. Don't you know we live for work?

*Disclaimer* The following time zones below is supposedly optional.
8.00pm: Workz wilz rulez zhe worldz! Lololoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo!!! Ohx! >.@

9.00pm: Argh! I see dead people!!!!!

10.00pm: I wonder if Pizza Hut delivers at this time of the night...

11.00pm: No aircond, barely to no one around, the Fuji Xerox copy machine suddenly came to live....scary....

Anyway, that's just an example of a working day. No it's not that bad all the time but it can get tiring sometimes.
On the bright side, there's no jam on the way home....

Work for life!!!!!

Bunch of stuff...

2009-06-01T16:15:00.003+08:00

Not really into blogging but somehow, I just want to...

Here's a some interesting/random events/things that has been going on...

Guitar Hero at Julian's:
After hearing stories about it, I finally gave it a try along with Julian, Raymond, Justin and Ben Kit. I tried the singing part. Since they rate my singing through pitch not by the words, I could say whatever I wanted but if I got the right pitch, I score points.

My lowest was around 78% and highest 93%. How would you expect to sing "Korn - Freak on a Leash" properly? I have to admit when it came to free-flow, I could say whatever I wanted and score a bunch of extra points, which makes me just make random noises spontaneously.
Funnily pure comedy....

We didn't make it through some songs though. There were some songs we couldn't even get it right from the start and failed the song...

One highlight was because Ben Kit plays O2Jam type of games so much, Guitar Hero was no problem for him. Maybe playing these kind of games make your coordination better doesn't it?
All we have to do now is get a bunch of falling bricks in the order we want it to be and Ben Kit will drum fantastically.....

Work:
I think I should paste this here. If anyone asks me how's work, my answer will be as below:

"It never ends."

Sometimes, I wonder why I try to finish it when it never ends. Something new is bound to come up, or better yet, something old resurfaces from the depths of buried work.

Interesting enough, I don't really have that much emotions to my work. I don't hate it, yet I don't love it. It's like just there. No reaction, no expression. In some way, it's better that way or else I'll just be complaining like everyone else around me. The flip side is without any motivation, I have no idea what am I working for. Mmmmm......

I already know that He put me where I am to "grow up" and learn to deal with pressure, people and responsibilities. The thing is without motivation, I'm just a zombie/machine. Something to really think and pray about now...

CC Visitations:
I grew up on it. I've spent hours on it. My life revolves around a computer. I read, listen to music, do work on a computer. So I am no stranger to cybercafes. I've stayed up to 3.00am with my friends just clicking an oval-shaped device with my right index finger (thank You Lord that I don't wear glasses though I stare at a pixel-ed screen for hours).

I still go once in a while still. Lately is because its simple enjoyment and I do want to help others complete a mission. I would have to say, because we (and me) are so used to wanting something fast, we tend to get impatient. When we lose, we get frustrated at others. Being Christ-like, looks like I have to be more careful with myself on how I talk/react. If I act negatively, others will be negative also. However, the opposite is also true. Encourage one another, it'll definitely be better even when we lose.

Sports:
Thanks to work, I actually exercise much less lately. I sometimes purposely don't eat cause I definitely feel the extra weight I put on. From hovering the 65-67kg mark to 69-71kg, for a sports person, I can tell the difference even though its just a difference of 3-5kg.

I definitely miss my explosiveness to run and jump. Small nagging injuries that linger and seems like forever for it to recover also hamper my progress.

What's going to happen now? Maybe I should put in some motivation back into sports in the first place. Playing for nothing doesn't seem to work anymore now. Should I play to win? Play to show off? To impress girls? To impress guys? Ah.... Looks like the same as work. I'll need some sort of reason before sports become a "I used to do this..." scenario. Better a reason than no reason at all.

Anime:
I'm into Bleach. I like reading and watching the episodes that come out. Swords that can transform into another weapon according to its wielder's character/attitude and to take down the bad guys. Bad thing about Bleach is that its still going on. The storyline is still on going, which means a manga and an episode only comes out once a week. Super-slow..... Downside of wanting things fast eh?

Playstation, XBOX, Gaming PC:
Which is better? Definitely not worth getting all 3 types. I don't have the valuable time to spend on all three of them. Maybe they can get their act together and come up with a all-in-one super console machine which can play all games from different manufacturers while able to use PC technology and internet. Now that would be worth investing...

I think I've given enough thought on what's going on. We'll see what happens in the next post, when I get to do another in the first place....

Not bad for a 1st...

2009-04-28T19:58:00.005+08:00

...time in getting an accident.

Yeah, I hit a motorist from the back on Monday morning.

The lowdown / questions / assessment of the situation from my point-of-view:

- Light was green, so I accelerated to somewhere between 60-80km/h on the junction/highway. Question 1#: Should I have accelerated or not?

- Passed the traffic lights while it was still green. So I'm perfectly in the legal zone unless the answer the 1st question as no.

- Motorcyclist comes from my right-hand-side and comes into my lane without looking (he came from a legal U-turn).
Question #2: Should he have looked first before coming to my lane? My answer is yes but...

- I jam the brakes, skidded some and knocked his motorcycle from the back. Wasn't a hard bang but definitely harder than using force while in a bumper car...

- He loses his balance and falls. I see pieces of the motorcycle broken / flying everywhere on the road. Much later on, I found out that his bike alignment is out, one rear view mirror is no longer in existence, his number plate is in pieces, I saw his dashboard broken...

- He manages to get up but limps a bit.
His first reaction was, "You didn't stop at red light?"
I replied, "No! It was still green!"
"Then you should see me..."
Question #3: Should we be able to see motorcyclists all the time?
The realistic answer is no. We cannot see all the motorcyclists who come from the left and right side of our cars. Any driver who drives know that we just can't tell where they ride all the time.

- I help him gather his stuff which is all over the road to the side.

- He limps a bit, his pants are slightly torn and his knee has a small bruise.

- He moves his motorcycle to a repair shop nearby. I take him to office and pay for his fix fees.
Question #4: If he's in the wrong, why am I paying for his bike? Shouldn't he pay for my car damages instead?

Here's what I learned before and after the accident.

If you don't realize it, Malaysian traffic doesn't always follow the rules. Instead, we follow a type of culture that's dependent on where you're at which may have some principles which not necessarily follows the law of traffic.

Here's some examples whether you agree or not:

Vehicles have the right of way, pedestrians do not. Don't think just because there's a zebra-crossing means you humans can walk across and the cars have to stop. You can get honked for just walking across the road. Pedestrians may have traffic law rights but reality they are not treated that way.

The catch about pedestrians is if you ever ever ever knock / hit a pedestrian with any sort of vehicle, the driver is in so so so so so so much big trouble. Even if the pedestrian jumped out on the road on purpose, the driver is at fault.

The bigger your vehicle, the more right of the way you have. Kancil drivers can attest to this culture/principle very well. See how much way you can get when a BMW comes into your path. Or better yet, try getting in the way of a bus and see what happens to you...
I've seen some bus drivers, when overtaking another vehicle on the oncoming traffic lane, the incoming car is forced to slow down and stay left on the emergency lane because of the size of the bus. Wanna play chicken? Guess what? You already lost before you tried....

A different location and culture example would be in kampungs (or even in the main city of Malacca), it is alright for a motorcyclist to drive in the middle of the road with/without their helmet on...

So in my accident case, the following rule/culture/principle applies:
If the event where two vehicles collide, the back vehicle who collided the front vehicle is automatically by default in the wrong.

Which makes questions #3 and #4 against me whenever I get into any car, start it, and drive.

Anyway, I wasn't that concerned about the cultures and principles. I more concerned about the guy who fell off his bike.

Thank You Lord that he's still alright though limping a bit.

However, there goes my zero accident-free / perfect road record that I always prayed for. This definitely disappointed me the most. I found it encouraging to tell others that the Lord is taking care of me on the roads and keeping me free accident free.
Now that's not going to be possible anymore...

In a habit that I always do, whenever I park my car, I pray for its safety/protection (against theft, vandalism) and when I reach back to the car, I thank the Him for keeping it safe.

The one thing I realize is that because I do this all the time, it keeps me from letting my emotions or reactions blast out of the person who did intentional harm/inconveniences.

I could have argued / shouted / lambasted with the motorcyclist about he should have saw me instead and maybe bring out my steering lock weapon and threaten him and force him to pay every single sen for my car damage.

Thank You Lord for bringing me up where I keep my cool rather then exploding onto others.

Amen.

Memories of My Trip to...

2008-12-30T23:09:00.012+08:00

...Sunway Lagoon with the Youth....

Here's some of things that happened that we all will take home in our memories till we meet our graves:

- Ian being the last person to arrive. When everyone was at the bus stop, he was showering...

- Wei Xian running home because he forgot to get extra pants...

- Quote of the day from Declan. When trying to figure out where the dry park is, he asked, "Where is the dry land?"
My answer was, "Right here?"

- On the water rapids, only Declan and Stepfi were the wet-test. All the rest of us were quite dry.

- Stepfi's womanizeeeeeeeeer song before falling fast and getting splashed while sitting on a piece of log/wood

- Declan screams like a girl. He really can! Just ask him!
My proof is in this real life example:
Everyone else asked Cassie, "Hey Cassie! We heard you scream!"
Cassie replied, "No I didn't"
"Who did?"
Cassie turns to Declan......

- Cassie is one incredible outdoor/outgoing gal! Imagine going on the Tomahawk 5 times and still not enough.

- Why would Stepfi and Declan sit together on the Tomahawk when they are clearly the scard-iest of the ride among all of us? It doesn't make any sense...

- Ben Kit shedding tears / crying because of the roller coaster ride

- Ben Kit the only one sweating after going on the Tomahawk ride. Was it that scary?

- Ben Kit being the man of the group for trying out the rides though he's scared like a girl. You the man!

- Amanda's and Stepfi's endless screaming on all the rides. Even before the ride started they are able to get scared some.... We love you both regardless of your screams anyway!

- Would you want to pay RM 14 for Char Koay Teow?

- CJ reaching the end of the slide while sliding down with a mat like superman. If ya didn't stop, you might go beyond the length of the slide...

- Overturning floats while people were trying to relax on it...

- Ben Kit and Huey Wern fighting for a spot on the float. It looked like they were both fighting for the front seat of the car except surrounded with water...

- Huey Wern injuring her foot and getting a piggy-back ride from Jamie to the first-aid room...

- Squeezing 12 people on 3 double floats which were meant for 6 people only....

- Throwing Stepfi off the float...

- Cassie's infatuation with hot-white-half-naked-ang-mohs. Some of them can surf too!

- Daniel Wong shouts in the bathroom, "Can I borrow your soap?"

- Peeking at guys in the shower....

- Over dinner time at SS2:
Huey Wern asks, "Wei Xian! Do you want that prawn?"
Without looking at her and saying a word, Wei Xian calmly picks up the prawn with his chopsticks and eats it....

Thank You Lord that everyone was safe.
Thank You Lord that everyone enjoyed themselves.
Thank You Lord that we are able to enjoy ourselves.
Thank You Lord that You're the Lord of all our lives.
Thank You Lord that You're with us every step of the way.
Thank You Lord for taking care of us.
Thank You Lord that this isn't the end and there's more to come. We all look forward to what You have in store for us.
Thank You Lord that living as a Christian is not boring but fun!

Amen!

My stand...

2008-06-21T01:25:00.008+08:00

Here's the background:

My company organizes inter-department games (IDG) and inter-audit firm games (IAFG) once every year. The games include basketball, carom, tug-of-war, chess and yada yada yada. This year they even included cyber games for IDG level only (Counter-Strike and some football game). So yeah, we have fun, compete, win and lose, brag here and there and something that different that the company provides other than work till you moo moo (become a cow) everywhere...

Here's my last year's situation:

I took part of in two games for IAFG, volleyball and basketball, since I have a great interest and passion in these two games. It was great with all the trainings and BBQ chicken wings after training at Jalan Alur (defeats the purpose of training doesn't it?), the company I hang out with, getting to know more people from other departments....it was quite fine. We eventually were the champions for volleyball and runner-up for basketball.

So what in the world happened? The whole thing took up a lot of time. A few music practices had to be missed. Also, there was once where our preliminary basketball rounds took up 3/4 of the day and I missed helping out the Ambactus group when I was suppose to. It wasn't all that bad but then I realized that if this went on, a lot of time will be gone and I won't be able to serve where my heart really wants to, in the youth especially.

Here's this years situation:

IDG was just over like 1-2 weeks ago and IAFG is currently going on till end of August. We managed to win IDG basketball (I didn't expect to win anyway, I just went all out regardless). It was a nice thing anyway. However, an incident did happen where I had to come late for a combine celebration practice (the last and most important one too) cause the volleyball IDG fell on the same time and date. I left the volleyball tournament halfway and there were looks of disgust on their faces.

Here's the stand:

It just showed once again to me from last year that I cannot do both at the same time. One or the other has to stop. Simply put, IDG/IAFG can only do so much in the first place: fun, enjoy, exercise, compete, eat ( :þ ), bragging rights... all that only last temporarily. While music, worship, serving and youth somehow have such a more fulfilling and impact in both my life and others whom I serve.

I decided that this year round, I'll stop IAFG basketball as it took up the most time last year, it'll sure take up the most time this year also. It was quite a difficult thing to tell my captain and my the basketball 'partner' about my decision but I managed to send out the email. Then explaining to my colleagues that I simply just don't have the time to sacrifice for IAFG as compared to last year/2 years ago.

The only reason is this. I want continue serving in the church for others than just get some bragging rights and a free dinner where drinks are free-flow. I want to lead others into worship and pointing young people to Christ. In fact, I even get fulfilment and enjoyment by doing this which is greater than me winning basketball and volleyball medals. I want to do what I do ultimately for His glory.

Will my colleagues understand this stand of mine? My guess is no they won't.

Dear Lord, give me the courage to stand up and speak out for You. Help me to continually seek You first before everything else. You are my God, whom I believe and want to give You praise for all You've done in my life.

Thanks Lord.

Amen.

P.S. Man, the looks on this blog sucks. Really have to put in more effort to look for cooler designs or design on my own. Long live HTML............

Just as an update....

2008-06-10T00:09:00.002+08:00

...which has not been updated for ages. I thought I just put the lyrics of a song which I listen a lot at home.

From the 'I Heart Revolution' album, United - Mighty to Save:

Verse 1:
Everyone needs compassion
Love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Chorus:
Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save

Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Verse 2:
So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Bridge:
Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We’re singing
For the glory of the risen King

Thanks Lord for everything. It's so often that I always thank You for everything that goes on around me. Grateful that though things get tough around me but I put my trust in You. To fill me when I'm dry and stuff.

However, I realize I neglected something quite simple. I don't remember ever asking You walk with me. To ever accompany me wherever I go. To be with me when I'm working, exercising, or even worshiping You.

Kind of odd don't You think? Always looking to You as someone high and mighty but forgetting that You also came down to be a friend to us too.

So dear Lord, I invite You to walk with me. To go on a journey together than walking on my own. To be a friend instead of living to be on my own.

What a great God You are!

Eat basketball, drink basketball, sleep basketball....

2006-06-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

'Futured' Edit (February 2007): This was suppose to be posted way long long time ago. Oh well, better late than never right?

Let me take you on a journey of a little shy/timid chinese boy and a round orange ball.

When he was 13 years old, he saw how people were able to throw a ball into a hoop high up.

So one day, he started bouncing the ball and played and played and played until he was tired.
He liked it. So started the passion of bouncing an orange ball and shooting it into the hoop so high up there in the sky. As the years went by, he gave up others sports like football and badminton to concentrate the game of basketball.

He didn't have the height. He didn't have the strength. He had such a poor shot that usually out of 10 shots, he would miss 8.

But that didn't stop him. He continued playing the game but there was discouragement along the way. His grades started dropping. He played more than he studied. The biggest blow to his passion was when he was unable to join the school team because the team trained on a day where he had to go for tuition. He started getting angry with himself for missing shots. He started swearing wonderful/colourful/fluffy/flowery languages at himself. It was a down period for him. Though he wanted to keep getting better at the game, in his heart, it got worse in everything else around him.

Then finally, he finally looked to the sky and told the Creator and closest friend that he ever had, "I give up. Trying to be better myself this way is pointless. I rather not be good at the game than go down the drain with my life."

That point of time was a turning point. He changed his characteristic/attitude towards the game. Studies took a slightly higher priority before basketball. However, he still played the game. The difference was he played it to enjoy the game.

Fast forward many many years later, now a young man. He still doesn't have the height. He still doesn't have a consistent shot in his shooting. He still doesn't have the strength to touch the rim so high in the sky. He may shoot better than last time but still not as good as he wants to. However, all these things doesn't matter that much anymore.

The difference now, is that he commits his passion to the Creator and closest friend.

"Dear Lord.", he said.
"I commit my passion of playing basketball to You. Use me so that others can see You through me."

His previous goal was just to enjoy the game. Now the enjoyment comes along with spreading the passion of it to others who play the game around him. He may laugh at his teammates mistakes but still he would encourage them along too. If others enjoy themselves while playing the game, he would be happy in his heart for getting others involved and to enjoy the game. In the end of the day, everyone who played, whether they can even play basketball or not, enjoyed them selfs.

Now who's that person in the story? That person, was me.

The Lord actually showed me how to let go of my passion and use it for Him. It's amazing that even sports can be used for His glory. I no longer get mad and swear at myself. I can still play competitive basketball but no longer do I feel down or disappointed when I lose cause winning and losing isn't the main point anymore. Anyone can win, and even more lose basketball games but very few can make others enjoy the game irregardless of their skill level.

This is what I love to do. This is what I choose to do. Thank You Lord for showing me that winning or getting better isn't the only point we should concentrate on. Amen!

It's been a while....

2006-06-12T00:18:00.000+08:00

...that I said something on this page.

What's been going on actually? Well, so much has gone by that I don't want/can't remember it all. Even the happy moments can be forgotten so easily.

Well, I don't really have anything planned to say, but I'll just say what comes to my head.

There's so many things to do. Period. It's like a never ending story that you don't even know it'll turn out to be.

Maybe I'll just list out some stuff that I need/want/like to do:

Work - This area doesn't seem to end, which is actually good cause it keeps me busy with something at least. The downside is that it actually can take away time that could be used for other things. Whether it's productive or doing nothing, it still takes up most of the time I am given.
To touch/dunk a 10 foot basketball rim. The dream of flying high in the air and throwing it down is really a popular goal for many basketball players in the world (especially the short ones like us). I would like to blame it on the Western culture (NBA) for this influence. If I were really dedicated I would have touched it last year but our weather really prevents me from training outside and our poor condition basketball facilities we're provided, we rip down the stuff they put up. Then there's the work part which takes up a lot of time.....
Be better in guitar and drums. This is one area that really needs a lot of practice. I find it interesting that I was able to learn these instruments mostly on my own. Good point is no need expensive lessons which costs a bomb nowadays to learn. Downside is that you pickup bad habits along the way and there's so much I can learn on my own only.
Learn up HTML. Yes I wanted to learn how to create websites and mess around with them but I realize it's not going to happen anytime soon. Then again, this needs practice and a lot of time.
Get six-pack abs. Now this is challenge since I like to eat. People say we need to stay in shape. You realize that being "round" is a shape? I may not be as "round" as some others but seriously, I wouldn't mind thinning out my stomach more.

Alright. That's more on the personal goals side. Here's an interesting part life that I rarely talk to people about:

I really want to be passionate for the youth. Yes it sounds odd to be one young adult among a bunch of fun/rowdy/hooligans/passionate/loving/caring/IQ dropping people but that's not the point. Not only I grow in Him with them, I really find investing time into their lives so satisfying and joyful compared to the "older" people. What I pray for is that for more passion for the youth. How to go about it, I don't exactly know but I bet Aaron Choi has a guess on how......got to pray about it more now......
I really want to lead people into His presence. How do I do this best? By music. Doesn't matter what role I do (singing, worship leading, dancing, guitar, drum solo.....) as long as people can go into His presence, I thank Him for everything that He has given me to serve Him. Worship can change lives. I know it, seen it and felt it. What a wonderful experience to go though !!!
I really enjoy encouraging others. You know what? Most of you people may see me as someone who can really make fun of another. Yes I do enjoy that too but really deep inside I really have this passion to encourage another. Whether its cheering up someone or strengthening someone's faith in Him, it really brings out the best for Him and me to see someone's life be changed or going towards Him. What a great joy !!!!

Enough about myself for a while. If I really do start counting what I should do or need to do or like to do, the list never ends. All I know is that He's there to see me through all my wants, likes and needs. Best of all, He'll provide too.

Dear Lord. This song will be my prayer to You. Thank You for everything You've done for me.

Into Your hand, I commit again,
All I am, for You Lord.
You hold my world, in the palm of Your hand,
And I am Yours, forever.......

Jesus I believe, in You.
Jesus I belong, to You.
You're the reason that I live,
The reason that I sing,
With all I am.

Amen.

So how?

2006-02-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

Interesting enough. I for one am one of the many people out there who can consider ourselves as "knowledgable" somewhat in His word. I don't need to be a genius to be a bookworm or a researcher but what I really need is the "how".

I'm a little tired of knowing what may come out eventually. I want to know how to go about it to reach the goal. I'm sure this is part of our growing in Him struggle that many of us go through but it's really more than a struggle for me sometimes.

In other words, I wish that things just change fast, be over and move on. In fact, it may be happening in some cases already that it's already changed but I seem/feel left behind.

So in both cases, I want to move on but I don't know how in many cases. It gets discouraging and many times it may look like I might as well give up cause the answer doesn't seem to be coming.

When I do comparisons, when I was single digits old, I used to pray and read His word every night regardless of meaning. I just did it. Now I seem to struggle to want to pray or read His word. How come? How did I change so badly that now I can't seem to want to read

Anyway, two things I know that I should do. I need to first pray. Take time to have a good and meaningful conversation with Him. If you don't spend time with someone, how are you going to know the person? Same with prayer. Start to pray again and then to continue praying.

Secondly is to read His word. Though I may be knowlegable, it's not enough cause I want more. I want to know more about Him so that what I know I can tell/share others about Him. Though I may not get to know everything, it doesn't matter. I still want to try regardless cause it's everlasting when you help in someone's life and that's what I truly enjoy the most, helping and seeing someone's life being changed to being vessals and great individuals for Him.

Dear Lord, help me to not give up. Even though I fall so many times or it looks like I'll never reach it or simply go my way, I honestly still want to be more like You. My struggles does discourage me and I want instant results but it doesn't work that way. Your plan is the best for me. Continue to show me who You are in my life. Continue to show me Your plans You have in store for me. I may feel out of place or impatient but my heart wants You and the best of what You have in store for me.
Thank you Lord for everything that You have done for me.
In Jesus mighty name, Amen.

11.08pm, Sunday February 12, 2006

New Year's Resolution - Commitment & Effort

2005-12-29T00:50:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah....

The new year is a few days away and the resolutions are all coming out again.

I don't really want to look back at this years resolutions since I really had a not that great time in the first place but let me try to look ahead some.

I think it's time for commitment and effort. I've already been lazy practically most of my life. My father scolded me before. My mother mentioned to me about it many times already. I act that way in front of people whether they notice it or not.

Some have mentioned to me something like, "Wow! He's committed to blah blah blah" but in reality, I know what's really going on. I know how I have avoided what I needed to do and did the other non-important stuff.

Ah well. You think girls have mood swings more? Dang....I may have more mood swings than the average girl. I just learned not to show it at all. Hiding and showing a different face has sort of been a bad habit learned since young. I may look fine but on the inside, I may be crying some.

Enough. Commitment and effort are words that seem easy to spell but after seeing my past history, the words half exists in my life. At least if my laziness affects me only then it wouldn't be so bad but it affects others around me too.

It's time for a change. Youth Camp 2005 - Dusun Eco, was a reminder of many things.
Next year can be a hard or not so hard year depending on how I choose it to be.

Commitment with effort to the youth, music, work, character change, prayer, reading His word, discipling another, honour my parents, get back in shape, touch a 10' foot rim, improve on drums, lead a youth group, reach out to my colleagues and much much more.
Me gosh, I could die trying all these at once.

Anyway, I would say this-lah.

Proverbs 16:3, "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established".

Whatever I do, whenever I get it done, however I try to do, if I were to commit this unto Him with effort, my plans will succeed.

Comforting enough to know this. Now, time to put it into action.

Dear Lord, my life is yours. You created me for a purpose. Please don't pass me by. Here I am, waiting. Yes I have gone astray, but I turn back to You because I love You. Use me as a vessal for what You have planned for me.
Please forgive me of my laziness. It has affected me, my friends and You. It's time for a real change instead of knowing it only. It's time to move closer to You instead of further away.
I take great joy in serving and worshiping You. I really hope to continue to change to be like Your son Jesus Christ. I choose to follow Your ways because I love You. Always, always and forever.

Amen.

29th December 2005 1.30am

The day that the Lord made me...

2005-12-07T00:25:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah....

Long time since I posted or bothered to post but today I just want to maybe say anything that pops in my head.

It's already December. The year is already going to end and a new year will be coming.

Where has the time gone? What have I done? What took the time away from me so fast? Or was it the way I used my time? Well, I actually know the answer but I'm sort of refusing to admit my weaknesses.

I want to change but I want it instant instead of gradually.
I want to make a difference but I don't know how and don't want to commit to it.

The way I treat my parents reflects on how I treat my friends.
I can't seem to understand what I need to do even though I may have the knowledge of what I should do.

And the freaking list goes on.....

I'm falling behind instead of climbing up in Him.
From hearing/listening/understanding/learning Him practically everyday turned into I have no idea if it's from Him anymore. Actually I do know it's from Him but it doesn't sink in for some reason.

What a struggling year. The best part is that I made it hard for myself but not changing. It's so easy to tell others that but there's like practically no one around I can talk to. Actually, there are people around I could talk with but I don't simply want to share around.

Ah phooey.

Enough of the lousy stuff. I have to admit, my stubborness to still want to serve Him has brought some "fruits" around at least. Nice to know some people have mentioned to me they feel comfortable around me, or called me a "big" brother. These are what keeps me sane and going back to Him.

I'm just tired of struggling. There are so many things I want to do for Him but I can't seem commit. Interesting enough, I seem to care for others more than I care for myself. I may dislike breaking rules and regulations but I have really really bent it till the point it almost breaks. My sentences are starting to not make sense anymore but I don't really want to make it make sense....

Ah. Let's just go to the point.

I'm 25 years old today. I realize I wasted a good portion of it for my selfish desires. How nice that habits developed when young is hard to break when you get older. Since Form 1 till now I struggle with one issue that even though with many prayers and breakthroughs (3 to be exact) yet the issue is not resolved.

What a year. The year I thought I could maybe grow more just like last year but I went backwards instead.

Practically all of this year resolutions didn't come to pass. Well, I think it didn't. I can't even remember what they are in the first place. Actually, I do sort of remember but I don't want to think about it now.

Who are my friends other than Him?
What should I do?
How can I change?
So much for suffering for what?
What's the point?
Where does He want me to go?
What does He want me to do?
Why can't I hear Him anymore?

Ah........

Blogs can be fun to simply say anything I want to say.

Oh well, happy freaking birthday to me.

I hereby call this year I went through, the year of suffering.
Yeah yeah. I know there's a reason for all these suffering but I just don't like it at the moment.

25 years........good thing I have wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ to keep me on track if not where in the world would I be right now.....

Thank you Lord for them. Continue to enrich/bless them too.

P.S. I should just update my blog more often for the fun of it. Maybe I just lost the joy in doing so. How does Jocelyn do it.....

Small update of the puppy...

2005-09-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

Hie hie people!

Just a small update. We sort of decided to keep the puppy for a while more until an owner wants to take care of it instead of sending it to the pound or somewhere else.

He's really doing fine lately. I took a group of us went to take a look at him but he got a little scared since so many people were there to see him.

The best part is he's getting cuter by the day. Even my little sister who once said he wasn't that cute, is saying he's soooooo cute now. Shame on you for not admitting it in the first place.....

Anyway, I found out from a friend's girlfriend that she may have found someone who may be interested. Another guy that I know is also sort of interested in the puppy. Wow ! How nice isn't? He'll definitely find a new home to be in now.

By the way, my little sister "officially" named him "Puppy". Since she originally said that giving the puppy a name means you are getting attached to it. So now she gave him a name and she's also sort of attached to it some....

Anyway, if you all do want to make some arrangements to see Puppy, my handphone number is 012-267-6569 and my email is dynamite_kaaboom@yahoo.com (Yeah the email sounds childish but I've been using it for more than 6 years already....)

Thank you Lord for helping me make the right choice even though I didn't understand what I was doing in the first place.

More puppy pictures....

2005-09-20T20:05:00.000+08:00

Hie hie people,

Just to add on a few more pictures and updates.

According to my little sister, the "pup" is doing better. He's walking fine and followed my little sister's mum around the park for two rounds. Also, he's been dewormed for you cause my little sister got the deworming tablets thingy for him.

So that just sort of leaves the skin part only. Rough in some places but can be taken cared of easily.

He's smart too! Unlike my little sister's dog (whom she claims he's quite dum dum....) he learns fast. Very obedient and a great walking mate.

So there's still time if anyone wants a chance to bring up a pet. As usual, just call my handphone at 012-267-6569 or if you all know Jen Ling, give her a call so that we can find him a good home.

And here's some pictures of "cuteness"....

Isn't it adorable?

Hehehehehe.

Pictures are courtesy of my little sister. Thanks !!!

I wonder if anyone actually is reading what I write. No comments, no nothing yet.....

Pictures of the puppy...

2005-09-19T18:43:00.000+08:00

Hie hie people,

As promised, here are a few pictures of the puppy me and my little sister found.

And for the final picture of cuteness.....

Alright, enough of cuteness and here's the lowdown.

I purposely picked the more attractive pictures of the puppy to lure you all into knowing how cute it is. Don't get me wrong, he's cute but just like my little sister has said,

"It's not that cute, cute-lah" (which means, it's still cute but there's more cuter dogs around and it's still a puppy too)

Also, there's some work to be done for him. Here's some of the things that I can remember and think of at the moment:

Like I said before, we found him injured. The vetenarian mentioned that he may have hurt his pelvis bone. However, he's now able to move better but in future, X-Rays may be required to see that his pelvis bones grow back properly or he may not be able to walk properly when it grows up.
He may need some de-worming a little since his stomach was a little bloated. My little sister's brother mentioned he was poo-ing out the worms now but he still needs a checkup.
His skin is rough in some places. Most probably due to it being out in the dusty area of Sunway (you Sunway people are all dirty!!!!! Hehehehehe!!!!!). It's better now but like above, need to take to the vet for a checkup.

So yeah. That's all I can think of at the moment. If you all are interested in taking care of a puppy, do call me at this number, 012-267-6569 or whoever of you people know Jen Ling, you can call her too or post in the chatbox or somehow let us know.

Sure there's some "taking care" of for this puppy but if are willing to really have a passion or wanting to bring up a puppy, here's a chance for you.

If the question of "Why not you take care of the dog yourself?" comes in, here's the answer. Both my little sister and me have dogs to take care already (I have two dogs in fact) and there isn't enough space for us to add one more in our lives.

The unofficial dateline for this puppy is this Saturday before it goes to SBC or SCB or whatever place that place is called and I don't want to know what they are going to do with him.

So do spread the word around a bit. See if anyone is interested in owning a puppy or wanting to see the puppy first.

So there's your update. I'll try and update this blog more often. Blogging once again isn't all that bad after all. Just some laziness on my part......

Anyone want a male puppy?

2005-09-17T10:54:00.000+08:00

Just a small update on my part since I haven't really been updating also in the first place.

Here's the condense version of what happened.

Me and my little sister found an injured puppy and we decided to give it some help. After an interesting time of helping him, the puppy is fine I think but he can't walk properly yet.

So the question is, anyone interested in having a puppy?

If so, just let ask me or Jen Ling about it. I'll post some pictures of it soon too.

Oh yeah. If you can, pass the word around to see if anyone is interested.

Pictures of it to come eventually....

Lifetsyle of worship.........

2005-07-15T00:08:00.000+08:00

I don't know but I love to sing for fun. Singing in the bathroom, the car or even at church, singing is something I seem to be doing everyday. Music segments of some songs (or the entire song) sticks into my head easily. So segments like, "Lonely!!!!!! I'm so lonely!!!!! I have nobody!!!!! On my own!!!!" can also easily stick into my head and it does get annoying. Interesting enough I remember the tune more than the lyrics cause it's what tends to get my attention first before lyrics. Eminem's "Lose Yourself" has such a catchy tune it's really worth to "Lift your hands up in the air!!!! Wave them like you just don't care!!!!"

So what does this have to do with worship? I really think the best songs come from christian bands because for one simple reason, they write their songs for glorifying Him. While Celine Dion writes good love songs and Limp Bizkut writes fantastic head-banging songs, it may feel good for a while but christian songs, contemparary or worship style, can last for a lifetime. How so? Cause it affects also the one area of us, the spirit.

Mostly its because I see our lives as we need physical (indomee goreng double!), emotional (girlfriend/boyfriend?) and spiritual needs and one way to fill that is through worship. Why sometimes life feels dull? Like sometimes no matter what you do, you still end up back to square one type of feeling where you don't feel quenched/satisfied. I tell you it's because we are spiritual beings in a physical body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or you do not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's".

What a great way to can do is just sing and lift Him up in your own way. Who cares if you're not musically inclined and sing out of tune? Who cares if you repeat a word over and over again? It's what your heart really wants that God sees when you worship. Yes sometimes it feels so hard to worship but let me share this with you.

In Acts 16, Paul and Silas were thrown in beaten and thrown in prison for sharing their faith. What did they do? They sang and worshiped Him and low and behold, a jailer and his family was saved. In my personal case, I was mad at myself for making a mistake that caused everyone else to wait on me. It was actually not a major thing either but I was quite mad at myself and finally, I just sat and worshiped Him cause I didn't know what else to do. After a while, I really felt a "peace" in me and my anger was gone.

In conclusion, I would encourage you all to just maybe sing a bit to Him. No harm when you do it alone especially some shy people like "pink guava". I tell you one of the best times to worship on your own is during traffic jams or travelling. Before you know it, finally reach your destination and feel refreshed. Thank you Lord that through worship, we can be closer to you.

Side notes:

I always like to consider myself as an A1 Class Bathroom Singer. To purposely go out of tune and just simple sing anything that pops in my head in the shower is something I tend to do best when no one is around.

I realized that this week so far, I haven't eaten chicken rice at all!!!!! Nasi goreng ayam is the closest but it's still not chicken rice. What will I do??????????? Can I eat it before the week is up??

Port Dickson Young Working Adults camp coming up. Did you know that Bayu Beach Resort has the "cleanest" beach in the whole of PD? That's what they claim to be and every morning, they send out staff to comb the beach for litter. I'll try to post up some pictures for others to see.

Materialism....

2005-07-14T00:15:00.000+08:00

An interesting night of events happened. I went with the Yong brothers to play some basketball and for the sake of "exercise". Later on, one guy's handphone was stolen. I stayed on to see what happened and maybe help some to find it. After around 2 hours or so, here's a few points on what I see:

The person who had his handphone stolen started blaming us for not "keeping" his stuff properly. Well, I would have to say that really isn't all that right to say that. The handphone by default isn't really our responsibility cause we don't own it. By just telling us earlier to "take care of his stuff" and go off to play basketball doesn't mean we guard it with our lives cause we did take care of it some but we can't stay around your stuff forever. However, he sure needed to vent it out since he was really upset so we didn't say that back to him.

He really has great friends around him whether he realizes is or not. His mum came to take him home early but me and a bunch of us went through the events, talked it out and tried looking for it all without him being there. I would say that we really tried to find it whatever we could do to find it. I really see this as a blessing to for him that we as "brothers" are willing to help a friend in need. I hope that one day he sees that.

The main thing I would see is from this verse. Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not lay up yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Yeah I admit I would be upset if I had something I own get stolen. However, I have to also remember that our material stuff that we have shouldn't get so emotionally attached or depend on it so much as sometimes, these sort of incidents do happen.

So in conclusion, we didn't find his handphone. We did suspect who stole it but we don't have any concrete evidence. That guy also will have to face the "aftermath" of losing his handphone but even though we don't have the evidence, God knows who did it and He will judge that person accordingly. I think that can be also a comforting thing to know that they can never run away from Him.

Side notes:

Not bad that I could actually run up and down the basketball court. I didn't score a point and had a few turnovers which was quite bad but it was a good workout.
I can't seem to play zone defense at all. Why can't we play man-on-man defense? I thrive so much better at that. Kind of lousy that I grew up playing 4-on-4 half court basketball and not full court.
I can't remember if I had chicken rice yet this week. Is that good?

Testing with pictures...

2005-07-08T15:37:00.000+08:00

Not to really update on anything but just wanted to try posting up some picture(s) on my hard drive to see how it looks online.

Woah ! It works !!!!!

Anyway, that picture I just posted is a professional basketball player in the NBA by the name of Jason Richordson (J Rich) doing a windmill jam. He's 6 feet 6 inches. So according to a rough estimate of that picture, he just jumped around 34-37 inches (2 feet 10 inches - 3 feet 1 inch) off the ground.

Long way for me to go to reach my "for-the-fun-of-it" goal to touch a 10 foot rim since I barely jump over a foot of the ground.

I will not be denied !

Who was telling me about those "boing" shoes some time ago? Maybe I should invest in it sometime to see if it really gives me a "boing".....

Updated!!!! You all happy?????

2005-06-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah yeah.

For some reason, I am being pressured subtlely to update my poor blog.
It was nice to start in the beginning but lately there's really no motivation for me to do so.

Anyway, for the sake of others before I really get wiped out from their links, I thought I just share something about what's been going on lately.

First thing that's been my priority at the moment is getting a job. For some reason, it just is simply quite hard to do so. It's not the interviews, dressing up or preparing myself to face the interviewers that troubles me. What really kind of bothers me is me making the effort to do so in the first place. One thing is that I tend to procrastinate things and wait till the almost last minute to get it done. Not only then when it's all done and over, I tend to not make more effort to make the next thing better.

This is one thing I definitely am working on with His help to change but I'll explain this another time.

History lesson for those who don't know. I worked for around 5 and a half months before I stoped to continue on with my studies. That job was literally given to me by Him like almost spoon-fed. Even so, I was really grateful to Him for giving that job. Not only I enjoyed myself there, I also left them on a good note with them saying, "You're welcomed back when you're done."

So now I am done. My degree is supposedly on the way. It's time again for me to look for a job. So what do I do now? I can either go back to my old company or go and look for another job but it's harder said than done.

I went for an interview with Ik's current company and after the whole interview I actually learned a few things:

1) God knows who I am. Even more than I know myself. Even though I knew this but only now realize it more. He has been watching over me and protecting me from the start. How is this possible? One guess that I can think of is most probably because of my mother's prayers...

2) What he provides for you, isn't it a good thing? Of course it is. This question is actually easy to answer but can be sometimes hard to accept. I should accept what He provides for me instead of doing it my own way.

So in conclusion, He actually provided me a way to go back to the work force but I didn't really wanted to follow and learned this lesson the hard way. Hopefully next time I can see ahead of what He wants me to do and follow.

I'll be going back to the workforce again soon. I'm actually looking forward and quite excited over it. Just

Some side notes:
#1 Oh me gosh !!!! I actually updated in like how long again?????
#2 I hope Jocelyn, Raymond, Nick and Huei Tsuen are happy that I updated something.
#3 Now I need to update more regularly or else.....
#4 With great blogging comes great resposibility to update.....

How stubborn can stubborn get???

2005-04-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

I just realized something that I had developed over the years and didn't really know what word to describe it till just lately only.

It's called "stubborness".

I just never really realized it at all. Now how did this develope? I don't think I really want to know but the interesting point is it took me this long to finally figure out something in my life that has been with me for who knows how long already.

Let's take a quick and/or long look at what stubborness is actually about.

For the english mentally challenged (like Ik):
stubbornness = the trait of being difficult to handle or overcome

In the Bible, there are a few incidents about stubbornness but one very particular incident is found in Exodus Chapters 5 - 12. Moses and his brother Aaron went before Pharoah, king of Eygpt, to ask for the Hebrews release from slavery/captivity. Even after 9 plagues, Pharoah refused to let the Hebrews go. In fact, his heart harderned more each time after a plague occured. It finally took the 10th plague, the death of everyone firstborn, human and animal. The death of Pharoah's firstborn son died then only Pharoah broke down and said to Moses and Aaron,
Exodus 12:31, "...Rise and go out from among my people, both you and the children of Isreal. And go, serve the Lord as you have said. "

So what can we see about this? Stubbornness can/will lead to:

You will be blinded to the truth
Pharoah refused to admit the God of Moses and Aaron. Even his own magicians of his court pointed out in Exodus 8:19 that the plague was "...the finger of God." (an act of God) but he still refused to admit it.

Your heart will be hardened
Interesting enough and very self explanitory. Pharoah's heart became so hard he just let his people suffer through all the 10 plagues.

These two points are also in some way directly and indirectly affecting me because of my stubbornness. I have this thing about sharing where I rather not share than share. To some, I may share more but there are a few people close in my life where I just can't seem to share with. Kind of not that fair since I know them more well than others but I share much less with them. I have also felt in some way like I feel like I'm drifting away from them even though I still see them. Hopefully you people can bear with me for now. Eventually I'll share more but it's just a matter of when. So, I'm sorry you all. I didn't really mean it that way when I say, "I'll tell you later" or "Ask me again some other time".

So I have to admit, blogging does provide a "means" for me to share with others. So I would to say a very nice big thank you to Jocelyn for the "biggest" influence to get me to start blogging. At the same time, you're the one to "blame" also for making me start this. Thanks alot....

Note#1: If any of you who blog and your blogsite gets linked on Jocelyn's website, please consider it as an honour....

Note#2: Yes I have been eating my weekly chicken rice. I need it whether I admit it or not. My weekly life will not be fulfilled without chicken rice. How did I actually survive in USA? Good question...

Note#3: Yes I didn't get to blog for a like almost 2 weeks. I was merely trying to test your patience and see who fails at it first and looking at my chatbox, I see Jocelyn has failed already.....

Root of all evil is.....

2005-04-14T10:33:00.000+08:00

GIRLS !!!!!!!

And I have prove too! Observe the following:

First we state that girls require time and money:
Girls = Time X Money

As we all know, time is money:
Time = Money

Therefore:
Girls = Money X Money = (Money)^2

1 Timothy 6:10 says, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil...".
We can definitely now state that money is the root of all evil:
Money = sqrt(Evil)

Therefore:
Girls = ( sqrt(Evil) )^2

Girls = Evil

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ooops.
Sorry.

Alright, in more seriousness, what I really want to talk about is about money.

I recently was invited by the all clever and smart and intelligent elder Huei Huei sister (Huei Tsuen) to a business network talk. With nothing to lose, I went for it thinking that I might get something good out of it (and also at least acompany the elder Huei Huei sister but that proved totally pointless in the end) and I sure came out of the talk learning something alright. The thing was that it wasn't really something that had to do with business talk that was originally intended.

To simplify it, it was just one word. Money.

A tall looking lady gave her testimony on how the results of the business technique they were tyring to promote affected her life. What I heard from her totally blew my mind away for some reason. Phrases something along the lines of:

"Money can defintely put a wife to sleep peacefully."
"Everytime when my husband comes back from a long overseas business trip, I would get excited to and ask him about how much money he made over there."

Oh me gosh! I just simply can't believe this. I knew money can really affect anyones live but I just didn't expect to hear this from her at all.

Matthew 6:31-33 says, "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

"For after all these things the gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

Do you see that? Do you see the promise He already has for us?

First of, Jesus said to not worry. I sometimes wonder why girls tend to have a problem choosing clothes to wear but it's not that kind of worry verse 31 is really talking about. It's talking about your future. Where you are going to study or work, whether you'll get your scholarship or how much you earn in your job. Well, let me tell you this is not easy to do. Some people do tend to "naturally" worry as that's how we are. Even I worry also....

It doesn't stop there though. Jesus continued and says that God already knows that we need these things. Isn't that nice? Good to know also that He understands our situation no matter how complicating it is for others or for yourself. At last! Someone that understands what I'm going through!

And finally, Jesus presents us a "solution" (for the lack of better word for it). All we need to do is "seek" Him first and He will provide what we need. This actually sounds too good to be true but it is actually exactly what He just said. You seek Him, He will provide what you need. Bear in mind that its what we need, not what we want. "Dear Lord, I want Lamborghini for myself and a Jaguar for my wife", style of asking isn't really the "need" prayer that He has in mind also.

How do we seek Him actually? How I start is by telling Him that I want to know more about Him, to grow closer to Him, to be more like His son Jesus. From there onwards, it's all into the individual's personal style of how you'll learn the meaning of "seek".

On a not so serious note, did you know that guys are more evil than girls???? I have prove for it too:

First, we state that guys need time, money, girls and sex:
Men = Time X Money X Girls X Sex

Since we already know that time is money:
Time = Money

Therefore:
Men = Money X Money X Girls X Sex

One general stereotype that men have is that men want to have as many girls as possible because they want to have sex as much as they can. So we can have:
Girls = Sex

Since we also know that girls are evil:
Girls = Evil

We get:
Evil = Sex

Therefore:
Men = (Money)^2 X Evil X Evil = (Money)^2 X (Evil)^2

As stated also before, money is the root of all evil:
Money = sqrt(Evil)

We can therefore get:
(Money)^2 = Evil

Men = Evil X (Evil)^2 = (Evil)^3

Now how often do you hear of women suicide bombers going around do you?

Note#1: Whoever came up with these equations is really a genious and had too much time to really come up with this....

Note#2: I have yet to eat my weekly chicken rice. What is going to happen to me??????

Talking VS Listening

2005-04-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

Interesting thing to really when you see the extreems on both sides.
Some incredible people (like Jocelyn) can yak and yak and yak and talk and talk and talk for the whole day. It doesn't matter if they make sense or not but it's still something to say for the sake of not keeping quiet whether on purpose or natural. Simply amazing.....

Now on the flip side, there are people who don't even say a thing. They really either have nothing to say, or lots to say but they just don't even say a thing. If they're listening, that would at least be not that bad but there totally no way for anyone to know if they are listening by just observing. These I have to admit are even more incredible than those who can talk without a fullstop in their sentence.

On my part, I enjoy listening. I see this as both a blessing and a horrible ability to have depending on the situation. It's really nice when someone needs to "let out" or "just talk" and I'll be listening to pratically every word you say. I may not reply much but it's better than someone else talking to a brick wall....

On the other hand, since I listen so much, I tend not to say anything else much. In a group where 3 or more people who can talk, you won't see me saying much (or nothing at all) but just listen and laugh at their jokes.

Another thing is that I can somehow listen and listen and listen till when the topic of conversation just switches to something else that I am totally have no interest, there's nothing I can do to filter it out unless I talk with someone else. Perfect example will be Jocelyn and Smallz yaking and yaking away and there's nothing I can do about it even though it doesn't relate to me at all but their words just seem to sink into my head and I just simply listen. Poor me but the good thing is I have learned to tolerate it a long long time ago but that's another story for another day...

So what's the best between talking and listening? In between?

One point about talking, Matthew 15:11 says, "Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth this defiles a man."
Interesting enough, our words can really build and/or hurt another person. I'm sure you all know this by fact but yet we still tend to sometimes say the wrong thing no matter how hard we try to not hurt another. So here comes the prayer part to where you need to ask Him to "teach" you what to say and what not to say. Something hard for many to learn including me.

For listening, James 1:22 says, "But be does of the word, and not hearer only, deceiving yourselves."
Again, many people listen/hear advice from friends, parents and yet we still don't follow. Many things we know we are suppose to do but we don't (like studying for some.....). Even in more Biblical stuff, a simple (or very very hard) thing to do like spending time with Him; we know we are to do but yet sometimes we tend to not do.

Imitating Yoda's style of talking, "Struggle we must. Hard the way will be.....".

However, the best thing that I know is that it's worth it in the long run. Reward or not, to just be closer and like how Jesus was when He walked on earth may be the most "rewarding" thing to already have and do.

What I need to also learn now is to know how to get up when I fall and not give up. That's another story for another day and another time....

Note #1: I ate great Fook Kin Mee (or whatever you spell it at). Awaiting my next weekly chicken rice for lunch or dinner this week.....

Note #2: Jam session is this Thursday at 8.30pm. Those who know are suppose to come better come or else............................

Board Games...

2005-04-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

Playing board games can be actually an intersting thing to do. We get so caught up with a screen and pixels and fiber optic lines containing information running back and forth from our computers to the phone lines that maybe just looking at a board with pieces with a different set of rules to compete can be also refreshing. Here's maybe a few that you can pick up when you can:

Chess
One of the most popular board games in the world. White and black with pieces that each consist in a different function and moves differently. Learning the strategy for the game can really be frustrating cause you are really trying to outsmart your opponent. I personally don't really like it cause I don't seem to enjoy playing the style of strategy but it's definitely a game to learn if you like trying to outsmart your opponent without using chance (dice).

Backgammon
An old game that consists of a board that has funny designs the first time you see it, red and black pieces and dice. For a simple explanation, the objective would be to get your pieces to the other side of the board before your opponent does.

Though this game relies on a lot of chance, it doesn't really require you to make so much hard decisions like chess and it makes a simple "pass-away-your-time-while-waiting-for-replies-on-MSN" game. I personally like it just for the fun or it to pass away my time while waiting for replies on MSN.....

Monopoly
Another one of the most popular board games in the world. Ranging from "Old Kent Road" to "Mayfair", you collect "properties" and try to do "business" with your other competitors and eventually buy them out ~~and laugh at them~~ and become the boss (monopolizing) of all the properties on the board. Landing in Jail, Passing Go to Collect $200 was one of the interesting features of the game where you cannot simply avoid it.

I personally don't enjoy the game cause I am a terrible businessman. The closest I have ever reached in Monopoly is that I reached 2nd place out of 8 people. Quite impressive I would say since I think I won't ever win the game in my life.

Cho Tai Teet (Play Big 2)
Alright, this isn't really a board game but in Malaysia (I found out people in Hong Kong play this too), this is one of the most popular gambling games that doesn't require us to travel 1000 meters above sea level to visit Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong's theme park (now taken over by Dato Lim Kok Thay). By arranging your cards in a certain hierarchy order and whoever places down all their cards first wins. It takes great knowledge and strategy to arrange and place down your cards as it's quite fun and challeging. It gives you an insight one of the many many many many many card games there are in the world.

My personal opinion is that this game tends to bring out many good/bad gambling stories. Hearing stories of my friends betting from RM1 a card left in your hand and x2 if a picture card and x3 if an ACE or "Two" card, they sweat cold sweat.

Mahjong
The latest "board" game a am currently learning. Quite similiar to the card gin rummy, you require to set your "characters" into sets and score points on how geniously you get to place down your sets. Due to the huge amount of sets there is in Mahjong, it simply blows away your mind to get a proper set.

In my opinion, this game is another popular gambling game that has been stereotyped where old chinese men/women come together during Chinese New Year and gamble. To me learning the many combinations is something that I find it interesting since playing the card games all the time.

I'm sure there any many other board games worth picking up out there but at the moment, this is what I want to say on my blog so that I can say something on my blog to say something on my blog so that something is said on my blog and when something is said on my blog, something is said on my blog.

Two notes worth mentioning:

Note #1:
If you all haven't really realized it yet, Streamyx is extreamly slow. Bittorrents/Limewire/Kazaa users can like only download like 1kB/s. This is however not anything to do with your computer's connections. It's TMNET's servers that are really messing up at the moment. Be patient and don't throw out your computer out the window but throw it out the door...

Note#2:
I finally ate chicken rice. When shall I eat it again?

Learning????

2005-04-06T02:23:00.000+08:00

Here's some of my "tips" that I think it's worth following/learning just for fun or.... just for more fun:

Tip #1: Photoshop (or some other variant of photoshop like www.gimp.org)
Seeing Waix2 handle Photoshop quite easily (since it's part of his work) and messing up Gordon's picture can bring interesting consequences. It just came to me that maybe learning at least some basic photoshop skills can be worth it just for fun. To turn a beautiful scenary picture into an ugly duckling or an ugly duckling into a cute and cuddly duckling, you can see your hours just go by and look at it this way, it isn't really wasting time... or is it?

Tip #2: Cooking
Believe it or not, there is really a great satisfaction in it. Preparing the meal, cutting the margerine and chicken and vegetable ~~and your finger~~, frying or steaming ~~or burning~~ your food, in the very end the look and the smell of your food is just so watery and fragrant and when it taste good, you know all the hard work you put in is so worth it as your whack everyone thing on your plate/bowl.

Sure you'll make mistakes like break your fingernail or accidently drop egg shells into your boiling soup or burn your house down because you didn't turn off the stove but with more practice, the reward of eating a great meal without going out of the house is just so much more worth it.

You think women own the kitchen only? Well, technically yes because my mother owns the kitchen but when she's not around, I own it and have made my own food there and have not looked back. As I said before, "We live to eat more than we eat to live"....

Tip #3: Storing Treasures
I saw Ripley's Believe It or Not while eating dinner and this group of people attempted to suspend themselves on a steel bar with hooks and locks "pierced" into their backs. Now they made it through but it sure looked painful some and the best thing was there was no point to this other than being on TV, filling the hour long show with something and maybe trying something out of the ordinary where it hasn't been done before on a big scale.

To me it was a total waste of time and money. What glory is there at all in being able to hang kind of painfully to maybe be in the Guiness Book of Records? Even base/bungee jumping have more meaning than this act. At least to experiance the thrill of free falling then opening your parachute or being pulled back up is there with no pain of hanging on a steel bar.

Comments mentioned in the show were like "...once in a lifetime..." just blows me away. Why not we do something "new" or "out of the ordinary" for Him? Now that would be so much more worth it since we are storing our "...treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where theives do not break in and steal." (Matthew 6:20)

In other words, most things are doable in the world but are they beneficial? It's good to store some treasures here on earth but depending on that alone won't get you anywhere. Sure it's a learning process for me too. Most probably it'll be hard and long but in the very "end", it is definitely going to be so so so so so so worth it.

Mental Note: Time to catch up again with my HTML/XHTML coding again. I can't even remember how to make a simple delete line across a word until I looked it up.
The blog also looks so plain with words only.....

P.S. Oh yeah. I ate Bak Kut Teh for lunch and very very well cooked meatball-noodles for dinner. So fun.....

Wonderful...just wonderful...

2005-04-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

I never knew when you "delete" a previous blog post, it dissapears forever.

Oh well, to continue "blogging", I ate Roti Hawaii tonight.

Is this suppose to excite me too?

Anyway, have you ever realized when God is in the midst of whatever you do and then you are like..."Woah...." and then the rest of the time goes really smoothly?

Interesting enough, in our jam session tonight, at one point of time, I realized and "knew" He was in our midst.

How do I know that? I simply just saw it and knew. How can another person know? My guess is, you will see and know it for your own self. There really isn't a straight forward answer to it but at times there is. If He worked so straight forward so easily, would we really learn? He also sometimes works so straight forwardly yet we still miss it.

Conclusion #1: He works in mysterious ways that eventually we will understand individually. Amen.

Conclusion #2: Maybe there is fun to blogging after all. What should I eat next? I haven't got my weekly chicken rice yet. So another option for me to eat but who knows what I'll eat eventually.

Conclusion #3: We live to eat more than we eat to live.....

Conclusion #4: Me gosh........ Jocelyn is right. You can really type and type and type and type and type and type and type and.....

Conclusion #5: What shall I eat tomorrow? Is this question a viable conclusion?

Conclusion #6: I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore. I'm becoming like Smallz and Jocelyn. They may talk so fast yet I can understand them quite perfectly. Will their future boyfriends be able to "understand" the way they are? Should be interesting.....

Conclusion #7: I think I'll go with 10 conclusions before I stop.

Conclusion #8: I'm starting to run out of things to say. Maybe I should post some logical nonsense. People have said isn't that nonsense too? Technically no, because it still sounds logical even though it is suppose to be "nonsense". Doesn't that contradict itself? Technically no because it still sounds logical even though it contradicts itself. How can it make any sense? It does make sense because it still sounds logical even though.....I hope you get the point.

Conclusion #9: One more to go but is there really anything else to really say that makes sense? Did I just contradict myself in conclusion #8?

Conclusion #10: I would like to officially blame all those people who influenced me to start blogging. Just to blame a few in no particular order, Raymond, Ryan, Nicklaus Au, Waix2, Ik, Jocelyn (I have yet to see why you are proud of me starting to blogging) and the younger Huei Huei sister (Huei Yuih). You have made me caught on something that I may not be able to break anytime soon. If this becomes an addiction, you all better be praying for me or else....